The destination is Toronto, a 45 to 50 kilometer drive from Hamilton. Turn on the ignition and watch the gas meter rise and fall back to well below a quarter tank. Now in my gas guzzler of an SUV, I realize that this will not get me very far; and without CAA or a wallet with some money to stop for gas I begin my journey. Not very smart eh? Well I had faith, I believed it would all work out, the traffic report said the lanes were moving well, all the signs lead me to believe that some how I would be okay, RIGHT!!
You are probably wondering where I'm going with this? Well case in point is; Charlene. Charlene was an intelligent, beautiful; artistic lady. She was also at the prime age where the itch to begin the journey of life with a partner begins to grow stronger and stronger, and I mean 16. Many romantic novels had been read, not too mention all the Hollywood hits that she had seen like "The Notebook", "Pretty Woman" and "Gone with the wind".
There is always two sides to a coin, and unfortunately for most of society, we are generally socialized to see things from a linear perspective. Its not our fault though, because thats just the way it has been. These books and movies depict Love solely from the romantic perspective, failing to illuminate the other side of love, which to me is the altruistic element needed to sustain the relationship. This is also called "Loving for the sake of Love."
That being said before I go any further, Charlene has a lot of tools in her tool box, but she still has some issues with her self, lacking a bit of confidence, a clear direction or purpose for her life, values and principles by which she chooses to live or an income that she is content with; yet she believes she is ready and prime to become ajoined to someone else.
This is true for many of us, not just Charlene, you and I have all been there. We are all trying to begin our journey's of love with our tanks not even close to being full. With this awareness, what do you think the outcome of these relationships will be? May I begin to name a few, dissatisfaction, infidelity, emotional, verbal and sometimes physical abuse, dependence, loss of self...the list goes on.
When your tank is close to empty and you try to give of yourself to someone else, you run out pretty quickly. Then you automatically expect to receive from the person to fill you back up, but they do not have much to give either, so we end up at a stand still. We know the journey can no long go on but yet we are not willing to let it go. Get out of the car and begin walking back home to fill our tanks and then start the journey over. For some, that would be disastrous, all the time invested, the expectations? Where would one begin? Well first you just have to let it go.
You cannot run the race of Love on an half empty tank.
1) Do you really believe someone else can make you happy if you are not happy by yourself?
2) Is your Love dependent on whether or not the person responds the "right" way to all your gestures of love and affection?
3) Do you own anyone?
4) Can you live anyone? In other words can you control anyone? because if you have to manipulate someone or lie to them so they can "Love" you, you are kidding yourself.
5) Is your love based on the romantic aspects alone, or do you fully understand that love requires a altruism to last, sacrifice, patience and determination.
6) Will the person you are with die for you and vice versa? Really! If it came down to you or them and one person had to go, would you pick yourself over them?
7) Do they have to fit your criteria of things? Good luck finding Mr or Mrs perfect, if you want someone you are going to have to ACCEPT them with all their negatives and pluses. (As long as the negatives do not endanger you ofcourse)
A mother will take a bullet, jump in front of a car, lift a 2000lbs vehicle to save her child because of LOVE, and that my friend is a choice. It is not innate. You decide that this person is worth dying for.
Some mothers dump their kids at birth, some abandon them, some abuse them and some Love and cherish them. This element of a willingness to sacrifice must be the flip side to your romantic love with a partner.
But you must grow and become a whole person, running on an overflowing tank so that you may have endless reserves to travel the journey of love through life with that very special someone when you find them.
May all beings in the world experience joy and peace. The divine in me bows down to the divine in you.
Be blessed today.
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